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By the time you read these words, Lindsay Lohan will already be back in rehab, but allow us to rewind a bit. At this morning's press conference at the Santa Monica Police Department following the DUI arrest, an intriguing wrinkle to the usual "troubled starlet gets drunk and coked up, then initiates a high speed chase" story was revealed: The panicked driver of the SUV being pursued by the actress was the mother of Lohan's personal assistant, whose resignation earlier in the evening seems to have precipitated the events that you will be reading about all day long. Reports the LAT:

Lohan, already facing a drunken-driving charge in Beverly Hills, was stopped in the 1800 block of Main Street near the police station after officers said the mother of Lohan's assistant reported a car chase, Lt. Alex Padilla said. Lohan, 21, was allegedly chasing the assistant's mother, and the woman feared for her safety, Padilla said.

According to TMZ, the mom got involved when she arrived to pick up her newly unemployed daughter, but we've seen no reports explaining exactly why Lohan was pursuing the family, so we're inclined to wonder about the exact motive for the incident: Was Lohan merely distraught over her abandonment by a cherished confidant, and gave chase to win her back? Did the assistant, in an emotional moment during the break-up, tell her boss that she looked fat in her favorite pair of coke-pants, provoking an angry race through Santa Monica? We suppose we may never know the real story, but these are questions for which we desperately seek answers. As they say: developing...