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Disturbed by recent Phil Spector trial testimony by "star" defense witness Punkin Pie Laughlin that his alleged snubbing of Lana Clarkson at a party had somehow driven the actress to suicide, Transformers director Michael Bay took time out from the Tokyo leg of his Giant Fucking Robots Are Coming world tour yesterday to clarify the spurious claims about his fauxteurial power over life and death. Reports the LAT:

"It never happened," he said in a telephone interview from Japan. "Wouldn't it be a big moment in one's life if you saw someone at a party, and two days later she was killed? Life's made of memories, and that would be a big memory."

Punkin Pie Laughlin, a nightclub promoter who said Clarkson was her closest friend, testified earlier this month that the 40-year-old cult actress was depressed about her faltering acting career, had financial problems and was a heavy drinker. [...]

Laughlin testified that Clarkson was so fragile she broke into tears when Bay, whose most recent film is "Transformers," did not recognize her at a party days before her death.

The defense presented Laughlin's testimony to bolster its contention that Clarkson killed herself.

Bay said he spoke to prosecutors to contest Laughlin's televised account. He also posted a detailed denial on his website.

While exactly what Bay said during his phonecall is unclear from the LAT's report on his testimony, in the "detailed denial" he published on his website, he didn't try to sugarcoat his feelings about Punkin's testimony, as illustrated in this excerpt from a post diplomatically titled "That Phil Spector Freak" :

So this is the Spector creep's only alibi - she committed suicide - come on.

I knew Lana. She worked with me on two commercials. I liked her energy - she had a great personality. I would never forget her face. It would be a big event in someone's life If you saw a woman you knew at a party on Saturday night and she was dead two days later, don't you think? I never saw Lana at this party. This Punkin, witness lady is a liar! According to reports, Punkin has a book deal about being Lana's friend. She wants to make money off of her so called 'friend'. What a disgusting piece of shit that Pumkin [sic] lady is!!!

Hopefully, Bay's subtle attack on Punkin's character will end his unexpected and regrettable involvement in this legal circus, which hardly needs yet another sensationalist sideshow to complicate matters. But maybe some good can come of the situation; even if the snubbing incident was completely fabricated, perhaps Bay will gain a new awareness of how much sway he holds over the emotions of those he encounters at social obligations, and will strive to pretend to recognize each and every struggling actress who approaches him, no matter how little he may want to sleep with them.