When the New York Observer's lover-for-hire George Gurley embarked on his quest to reveal the top ten sexual fantasies of the women at the Beatrice Inn, we lauded his Kinseyian quest for knowledge. As vapid and annoying we find those jangly-braceleted, soft-cotton-cosseted lithe young things who frequent the Beatrice, we also secretly want to touch their soft parts. So we looked forward to the article as a playbook, if nothing else. Imagine our flaccid disappointment when Alexa Rose Greenstadt, ("a lush, busty and witty 21-year-old who was wearing Lanvin pearls, a Zac Posen dress and brand new Prada shoes") divulged her sexual fantasy.

First he takes me to the Waverly Inn....And that's the foreplay...Then we walk right into Gramercy...And then, just when it gets really hot, he takes me to Beatrice! And just when I'm about to explode, we go back to his Park Avenue apartment and have tea."

She's on Friendster. Her interests include, "Men, Lots of them, sometimes more then one at a time." Boys, have at her!

The other striking feature of the sexual interior life of these women is that there isn't much of it. Despite the teasing, not one of the ladies could come up with more than three fantasies. And these mostly involved at least one having to do with skinny dipping, one having to do with shopping and one having to do with lesbians. After that though, the fantasies devolved into having long hair, a kiss on the cheek and a night home alone with the Rabbit. We're finally thinking that Maureen Dowd has been right all along.