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Out from the ranks of Britney Spears' security detail—a platoon of handsome, tight-lipped mannies who obligingly intervene whenever they stumble upon their boss inadvertently tossing an infant son into the dryer with a basket of wet bikini components—rises a lone voice: Tony Barretto, a gargantuan, 28-year-old father of two, was assigned to protect the fallen pop star from the time she left Promises in March until May 17 of this year. In that time, he claims he witnessed Spears engaged in all manner of illicit and naked-making activities not befitting a mother, which he was prepared to describe for a judge at yesterday's custody hearing:

Barretto and his lawyer did not provide details of Spears' alleged shenanigans, only hinting that she routinely struts in the buff in front of sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, and is still battling drug demons.

[Judge Scott] Gordon had indicated that he would be temporarily handing over complete custody of the kids to Federline, FOXNews.com said, quoting sources. [...]

[Barretto's lawyer Gloria] Allred said Barretto was fired by Spears because "he did not hear her when he was asked to pick up her hat."

What's left of Spears' camp is quickly dwindling—Page Six reports manager Jeff Kwatinetz and lawyer Laura Wasser both quit yesterday, but not before Wasser told People that Barretto was a "disgruntled employee" who "isn't a credible witness." She then went on to explain, "I don't want anyone to perceive that we're dumping Britney," a departing gesture of lawyerly goodwill before dumping Britney. And while The Insider reports that Spears has managed to retain shared custody of her kids, she could easily find herself in the unenviable position of facing yet more defections as her once mighty pop empire crumbles, leaving her with no other option but to hire Leave Britney Alone Guy as her sole companion and bodyguard, a fierce loyalist who'd claw out the eyes of encroaching paparazzi with his sharpened drag-talons before eagerly scooping up any dropped thing Britney asked of him—from hats to hair extensions to children to chicken wings.