"I will be the first to say that I have had a charmed life. I get to travel to places and have adventures that most people don't. I get to design handbags and walk runways. So why not write about it?" asks 21-year-old William Randolph Hearst estate heiress and Heatherette muse Lydia Hearst. Well! Because you're not a writer? Though we suppose that has never stopped anyone before. Also, Lydia has some unexpected pearls of actual wisdom to disperse. Unsurprisingly, though, they are set into the same Page Six Magazine column-jewel as several totally Kenneth Jay Lane fake pearls of complete and utter retardation. Which is which is for you to decide.

  • Trust no one!
     "While I am social, I am also of the belief that if you have more than five close friends, you're letting too many people in. In a city where people try to befriend you to climb to the top of the social ladder, you become guarded. Even my closest of friends I keep at arm's length." Writing about one's life, though: recommended (implicitly)!
  • Models are victims!
     "Back in the '90s, models lived by Linda Evangelista's motto: "We don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day." But models who work the catwalk these days are often paid only hundreds of dollars a day to pound the pavement, rush around between shows, and undress in front of hordes of paparazzi." The. horror.
  • Lydia herself is a victim!
     "Every day I am faced with being labeled something I'm not: a socialite, a jet-setter, nothing more than the sparkling by-product of my legacy." This column will change all that.
  • Heiress models: they're just like us!
     "Last month, during New York Fashion Week, I had just walked the runway for J. Lo's new line and was 15 minutes late for my reservations at the Waverly Inn. I was with my best friend, Michelle Trachtenberg (yes, Harriet the Spy), and though the place was empty except for a table with Rachel Zoe, they would not seat us. After haggling, they finally sat us in the back, in the humidity, in no-man's-land. We went to STK instead—and I can't see going back. There, it seems everyone is in search of power. When I got out at night, I'm usually just in search of food."
  • God, it's like that "letter from a rich person" humor column in Vanity Fair, except it is real.
  • Disclosure: Emily freelanced a piece for 'Page Six Magazine.'