As compellingly pointed out by Inside Edition last night, the streets of her beloved Los Angeles have become increasingly perilous for embattled, part-time mother Britney Spears, as the Starbucks runs and sushi lunches she once scheduled with the major paparazzi agencies without incident have now devolved into full-blown riots where upset citizens launch espresso-enriched Molotov cocktails at the pop star and her unwelcome shutterbug entourage.

In one of the darkest moments of a profoundly bleak few weeks, a representative of the Bel Air Neighborhood Watch shouted at Spears as she arrived for a meal, "Nobody wants you here! You're making this neighborhood unsafe!," seemingly terrified that the interloper planned to drive her Mercedes onto a nearby lawn, promptly place it up on blocks, and then set her naked children loose for an impromptu play date, destroying property values for a three-block radius. Obviously, no one had told the overprotective local that the babies are in the custody of their father, far away from their sleepy community.