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Accompanied by the usual retinue of paparazzi photographers and local news crews that document her every frappuccino run, conspicuously public lunch date, and spur-of-the-moment shopping trip to the Neglected Baby Gap, embattled onetime popstar Britney Spears reported to the Van Nuys police station under the cover of darkness last night to be booked for her failure to leave a "Sorry, y'all, I'm bad at parking!" note on the car she struck in a Petco parking lot back in August. The routine processing unfolded without incident, according to a police spokesperson whose description of his experience with Spears recalls the vague pride of a pet owner whose Chihuahua successfully evacuated its bowels outside of the house for the first time:

"She was fine, cooperative," [Officer Mike] Lopez said. "She did her business and came out."

Spears, 25, was wearing large designer sunglasses and a black turtleneck dress and jacket. As she left the station, she said that all went smoothly.

"They were nice," she said of police. She said she was wearing the sunglasses because she had pinkeye.

Unfortunately, Spears' positive evaluation of the Van Nuys police force was premature, as a pair of angry patrolmen, upset by the chaos caused by the camera-wielding mob as they stampeded through their once-peaceful workplace, showered her entourage with scalding hot vending-machine coffee while yelling, "Nobody wants you here! You're making this parking lot unsafe!" echoing the chants of protest that seem to accompany her no matter where she goes lately.