I went to an amazing party last night. I fit it in between meeting with Tyra (just Tyra, to me) to grill some aspiring models and discussing the day's events with Jim Watkins and Kaity Tong at 10. So anyway, at this party, we were playing "Guitar Hero"—my fave!—and eating raw fish! Can you believe that? Kind of slimy, but good!

Okay, really, now that Gossip Girl has proven itself to be less this microgeneration's OC than the finally-produced watered-down TV version of Cruel Intentions, the only reason to stick around is figuring out exactly what's up with that non-speaking Rosencrantz and Guildenstern duo (or Rosenchang and Guilden...um, black!). And the producers keep throwing us for loops! If you'd thought they were street urchins or petit bourgeois wenches brought in as ladies-in-waiting by the more progressive white folks, you're wrong, because last night's thing was held at the shiny condo of Asian One's brother ("Hey, your brother's place is incredible!") So if they're natives (and not Natives), why are they always dressed as anime characters?

We're not alone: S couldn't seem to parse it either, her eyes all distant and alienated at what appeared to be the best Harajuku-themed event on this week's social calendar. But she was brought up right, which is why she said "domo arigato (Mr. Roboto)" to the Miyagi-like chef poissonier. Because you ain't getting sashimi in this town unless you speak their language!

(While we're at it, does anyone wonder why the view of the skyline from all these fancy rooftop parties features a river—and the Queensboro Bridge—in the foreground? Short answer: it's because Gossip films at Silvercup Studios in Long Island City and the fiduciary burden of actually teaching the nation's children about NYC geography before they get to the Port Authority isn't worth the cost of verisimilitude. Long answer: Because There Is No Real.)

xoxo