Britney Spears Succeeds In Daring Escape From Cedars Sinai With Help From Dr. Phil!
As it turns out, the 72-Hour Strapped To A Gurney While Being Monitored By Five Burly Orderlies Super Mental Breakdown Watch under which Britney Spears was being detained at Cedars Sinai's vaunted Celebrity Meltdown Ward is not quite as restrictive in its patient-retention policies as we'd assumed, as Spears has already left the hospital following just a little over a day of crazy-containment.
Apparently, all that was required for her release was the hospital's staff's determination that she was no longer a danger to herself by demonstrating she can execute a proper diva-conniption without assistance, a confirming diagnosis of temporary stability from leading Hollywood tough-love specialist Dr. Phil (possibly rendered in exchange for a promise to appear on his show—that tough love doesn't come without strings attached, after all), and a quiet walk through an underground tunnel to freedom. Stayed tuned to your local TV stations for footage of the dramatic ambulance ride that will return Spears to her padded suite at Cedars by Sunday evening at the latest, following an incident in which the troubled mom protests the loss of her visitation rights by taking hostage the first two children she can scoop out of the ball-crawl at her favorite McDonald's PlayPlace.