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OK, now the Golden Globes are really, truly, stick-them-in-the-ground-and- shovel-some-dirt-on-the-coffin dead: The E! network—whose 101 Most Awkward Red Carpet Moments Involving An Actress Being Taken Aback By Ryan Seacrest's Encyclopedic Knowledge Of High-End Women's Footwear clip-show special is a ratings winner even after years of reruns—can't even be bothered to dispatch its starving, celebrity-circling vultures to pick at whatever carrion-morsels are left on the event's bleached bones. And it gets worse:

In a scheduling move that's the basic-cable equivalent of urinating into the Globes' open grave, they've decided to run a marathon of Keeping Up With the Kardashians instead. "We're taking the attitude that if the stars are staying home, we're staying home. These shows are about stars," said E! head Ted Harbert with a note of resignation before continuing, "Please excuse me, I have to go take down all the mirrors in the building before I break the news to Giuliana Rancic. We can't have her smashing them and running through the office to hack away at anything that moves with the jagged shards as she tries to work through her grief."

[Photo: Getty Images]