"I was robbed last night, at one of the best parties I've been to in a long time," a prissy hipster/filmmaker named Arin Cromley pettishly explains in his YouTube video. They took "my passport that I need to go to Berlin, my wallet full of maxed-out credit cards I'm trying to pay off, and my video recorder, full of a bunch of footage I still need to import." He continues with a treatise on the concept of private property and karma, and asks for the return of his stuff and his bike: "Brother, I will gladly give you a hug and a handshake if you can restore... balance." (Fun fact: according to his website, the WSJ lists him "among the top 20 new media moguls."

At the end of the night, when the lights came back on, my coat, that had my passport that I need to go to Berlin, my wallet full of maxed-out credit cards I'm trying to pay off, my video recorder, full of a bunch of footage I still need to import, was not in the coat area. ...My friend Josh told me that of the dozens of parties he's had at his loft, this has never happened.

79 Lorimer Street is wired with security cameras in the stairwell and in the freight elevator. I will be reviewing this footage, and we will see the perpetrator.