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Often, the Broadway musical crowds can seem to be totally enveloped by two basic groups: The theater gays, and the theater tourists. Which is just fine. But when an average chump (hello!) not blessed with either the Broadway savvy of the first group or the utter lack of self-consciousness of the second has an occasion to wander into the theater, it's hard to know what to see. So we are here to give all the middlebrow people among you this valuable advice: It's all about "In the Heights."

ITH is a play that's been around for a long time off-Broadway, but only made it to the big stage this month. It's about Washington Heights. It's feel-good. It has hip hop flavor, but without the corniness that infests most "hip hop theater" productions. The lead character, Usnavi, got his name in a very funny way, which I will not reveal here. And he can't figure out how to open the stupid champagne bottle during a romantic moment—just like us normal jerks!

As you can tell from this summary, I have no sophistication whatsoever when it comes to Broadway musicals. But that is precisely the point. This one made me happy, and minimized my regret at the ticket price, which has eaten my soul on previous annual trips to suckier plays which will remain nameless. If you saw ITH before, why not go see it again on the GREAT WHITE WAY? If you're from New York, you'll love it. If you live uptown, you'll love it. If you like hip hop, you'll love it. If you are forced to go see something with your girlfriend, why not see this? You can understand what's happening, and it will be much less painful than what your out of town relatives want to see (The Lion King).

Smart, cultured people will like it too!

Thank you for your time. Now please enjoy this flammin' montage.