'A Part In A Jack Black Movie Means Lindsay's Career Is Going Great!' Says Mother With Everything To Lose
Lindsay Lohan's recent decision to strip down to nothing for an egregiously under-airbrushed New York magazine pictorial recreating a sitting from the last days of a similarly troubled™ screen icon was enough to raise more than a few Hollywood eyebrows; shock-starlet watchers questioned whether dabbling a freckled toe into softcore waters could lead to a headlong tumble into the dark, cokepant-strewn abyss. Most of those concerns were put to rest, however, the moment noted momabler Dina Lohan assured the world that the photos were in fact not-at-all desperate, completely non-exploitative art. Now, via an E! Online exclusive that doesn't at all give off the pungent whiff of publicist-planted damage control, we learn that Lohan's career is right back where she wants it to be, including a starring turn on the big screen alongside the extremely bankable and A-listy Jack Black:
Producers have exclusively confirmed to E! News that the tabloid queen is resuming her day job, signing on to star alongside Jack Black in Ye Olde Times, a comedy tentatively set to start rolling this April.
A source at Patriot Pictures, which is producing the yukfest, told E! News that the film follows two rival Renaissance Faire troupes as they make their way through the competitive circuit. It's unclear whether Lohan will be one of Black's repertory players or a member of a competing Ren Faire faction.
Lohan's mother, Dina, also let slip via a phone call to E! News from her Long Island home that her firstborn was currently in talks to star in one other big-screen project, though she did not reveal any details. [...]
"She's an artist and is back on her feet and working. She's on the cover of a respected magazine. How can that be a bad career move? It is not!" she said.
While the casting has yet to be added to Ye Olde's IMDb page, it's surely only a matter of time before the official production notes are updated to include Lohan's involvement as Busty Serving Wench 2—a minor supporting role as it reads now in the shooting script, but one which the producers assured her would be beefed up to suit her singular, artistic talents.