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Another (self identified) REAL Starbucks employee has come forward to give us a peek behind the coffee company's chipper training day iron curtain of enthusiasm. This tipster confirms that Tuesday's mandatory job training was, in fact, for nerds, but then rises to a stirring defense of the company. The argument: "Sure, I got a nasty case of herpes on my hand because management is too cheap to buy more than one pair of rubber dishwashing gloves for a staff of fifteen. But hey, I'm insured to the hilt, so the Valtrex to quell said herpes is deeply discounted." Solid! The full, amusing email after the jump.

Real Starbucks employee here.

Yesterday's training session really was three hours of wasted time. A large chunk of our re-education included watching a video on how to steam milk. My loud, sarcastic comments during this video actually prompted one of the more sincere baristas to chastise me with "Sssh! I can't hear the milk." We also talked about "renewed commitment to environmental principles," which is fucking bullshit because most Starbucks outside of the NY metro area have a motherfucking DRIVE-THRU LANE.

I regret to inform you, however, that Starbucks is really not as evil as Gawker's commenters seem to think. Sure, our coffee is bitter and overpriced. Sure, I got a nasty case of herpes on my hand because management is too cheap to buy more than one pair of rubber dishwashing gloves for a staff of fifteen. But hey, I'm insured to the hilt, so the Valtrex to quell said herpes is deeply discounted.

Alright, maybe I'm not making such a great case for my employers right now. But why all the vitriol from commenters? Go hate on the schmucks at Cake Shop or Bowery Poetry Club or something. Their coffee's not that much better, their employees don't have health coverage, their bathrooms aren't any cleaner, and your chances of being snobbed off by some kid with an indier-than-thou haircut are exponentially greater.