Our progressive neighbors to the North — they of universal health care and stealthy American media insurgency — may yet cede their place among North America's movie industry vanguard. The Toronto Globe and Mail reports that the country's Conservative leadership wants no part of backing "any film or television show that it deems offensive or not in the public's best interest - even if government agencies have invested in them." Naturally the Canadian left is mortified envisioning a future sans even the tamest of subversive exports. "Would this committee put money into Juno?" asks Toronto lawyer David Zitzerman. "It might not want to encourage teen pregnancy. Would the government put money into a film with a dirty title, like Young People Fucking? Would they invest in something like Brokeback Mountain? They might not want to encourage gay cowboys to have sex together in Alberta." Hollywood studio heads, having long endured the repercussions of Canadian filth from Strange Brew to Paul Haggis, were rumored to vigorously laud the move in a conference call Thursday.