Katie Holmes, Dazed And Confused
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After successfully recruiting Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith into the Scientology fold, Katie Holmes ponders whether or not it's time to pop another fistful of Klonopins: "I know that Tom and David hate it when I self-medicate, but every girl has gotta have a vice, right? And no, Louboutins don't count. Maybe it'd be best to wait another thirty minutes. Yeah, that's the ticket. Okay, the clock starts ... now! No, wait. Maybe it should've started a minute ago, when I first started thinking about this. Okay, only 28 minutes left. Is it just me or is this clock running extra slow today? I hate Tuesdays. Such a worthless day."