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Some days we're so full of love for Harvey Weinstein that our weak, arrhythmic blogger hearts nearly explode. It was one thing last week when he brazenly moved Project Runway to Lifetime, pulling the rug out from a supposedly unwitting NBC. It was another thing entirely on Monday when Harvey rolled the rug up and started whacking NBC boss Jeff Zucker over the head with it:

NBC Universal Chief Executive "Jeff Zucker has been a friend of mine for many years," Weinstein said today at a lunchtime programming presentation hosted by Lifetime Networks at a posh midtown Manhattan restaurant. "Over the next three years, once I finish my servitude of cleaning his house, driving him to work every day, baby-sitting the kids and taking [his wife] Karen shopping, I think we will be friends again. ...

Weinstein declined to comment on [an NBCU lawsuit] Monday, but said, "I don't think there's anything to worry about."

"As I've said before, Jeff Zucker has been one of my best friends for many years," he added. "The show was never going to be renewed for Bravo anyhow. ... We wanted to grow the show; we have the rights to leave."

Good God — Harvey's glorious cutthroat miracles never cease. Never mind his tease (in the same breath!) that he wants to be reincarnated as network playboy Ben Silverman; we worship at the altar of a man who suggests his alleged breach of contract can be remedied through cleaning Jeff Zucker's house. Or by watching his children! As if Harvey wasn't a threat to "accidentally" gulp down a pair of Zucker kids while reaching for M&M's during My Name is Earl. "No problem," he'd respond to the criminal charges. "Georgina and I will crank out a couple new ones for him. Jeff and I go wayyyy back. He'll understand."