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Variety has laid their eyes on what could be the most anticipated Sarah Jessica Parker film in history—that's right, Sex and The City: The Movie—and printed their review. [This would be a good time for anyone who wants nothing spoiled and/or rained upon to slide their fingers in their ears, stare up at the ceiling, and start humming the opening notes of its theme. "Da-DA-dada...da-DA-da! I can't hear you!"] Verdict: They're just not that into it. Highlights follow after the jump.

· "For a series so steeped in romance, the eagerly awaited "Sex and the City" movie feels a trifle half-hearted."
· "...writer-director Michael Patrick King doesn't fully bridge the gap between TV and film — delivering major story flourishes but, too often, playing like a regular episode bloated to five times its customary length."
· "...one theme explores the boundaries of forgiveness — a touch ironic for a romantic comedy that commits the near-irredeemable sin of stretching to nearly 2 ½ hours."
· "...even a glossed-up version of Manhattan is a hard place to go home again."