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No sooner had we endured the traffic overload at the Petit Trésor website long enough to order a pair of custom-bedazzled Isla and Amelie onesies for the proud parents, came shocking news over the Biological MaternityWatch transom suggesting the Chosen Twins were in fact still resting comfortably inside their mother. People.com debunks:

Contrary to a flurry of recent reports that Angelina Jolie has delivered her twins, PEOPLE confirms that the rumors are not true.

"Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France," a rep for the actress tells PEOPLE.

You'll forgive us if we don't know who to believe anymore, as if we thought we could rely on anyone for accurate news on the contents of Jolie's womb, it was the expert celebrity birthologists at ET. As of post time, no correction has yet been appended to their website, and so we're left at this point with no choice but to split the difference, and assume just one Chosen Blob poops among us, possibly named Gigi or Madeline.