Old-money model-heiress Lydia Hearst (great-granddaughter of the tabloid magnate) wants to position herself as a classy model-heiress by letting us know, "I went to college. I'm a supermodel. I have a legitimate career in journalism, television, fashion and designing. I'm a Hearst, not a Hilton!" We can only assume that by a "legitimate career in journalism," she means her monthly column in Page Six Magazine—which is hardly a career in journalism, honey! (Neither is blogging, but we can't all be born heiresses.) Other ways that Hearst is more similar to Hilton than she may think:

1. College:

Hearst: attended Sacred Heart University. But did she graduate?

Hilton: did not go to college

2. Television:

Hearst: small role on Gossip Girl.

Hilton: Five seasons of The Simple Life, guest-starred on The O.C..

3. Journalism:

Hearst: monthly Page Six mag column.

Hilton: a 2004 autobiography, Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose. (An awesome work of literature—in its own, ghostwritten way.)

4 Fashion/Modeling:

Hearst: ad campaigns for Sephora, Italian Vogue.

Hilton: has appeared in major ad campaigns, including those for her own perfume, as well as countless magazines.

5. "Designing":

Hearst: designed some purses and athletic wear for Puma/Heatherette.

Hilton: designed some purses for Samantha Thavasa, and some jewelry for Amazon.com

Sorry, Lydia, but Paris wins! Paris wins!