This image was lost some time after publication.

Craig Seymour is a college professor who was living a boring little life in Washington, DC when he said, quote, "Fuck it" and became a gay stripper. And now he wrote a book about the whole thing, as strippers who are also writers are wont to do. And you'll never guess who Seymour's good "cool ass white boy" pal was back in the day. That's right, internet politigossipmonger Matt Drudge! Who loves nothing better than soap operas and Chaka Khan remixes:

The NY Press apparently procured and read Seymour's actual book—the only excerpt we can find online talks exclusively about him walking around with his dick out in a strip club. But the Press has the Drudge-y highlights:

According to Seymour: "Matthew and I were primarily obsessed with two things: music and The The Young and the Restless. That's all we talked about as we walked around D.C. late at night or drove out to the Maryland suburbs where his mother worked behind the counter at 7-Eleven."...

After Seymour gets thrown out of his NYC apartment, he loses touch with Matthew until he receives a letter in the mail. It deserves to be excerpted in full from Seymour's chapter:

"'If this letter gets to you somewhere in this burning world,' he opened, 'I have a feeling you can still relate.' For five densely marked pages, Matthew revisited all of our favorite topics of conversation, telling me how he was awaiting a new Frankie Knuckles remix of Chaka Khan's 'Ain't Nobody,' going through a love/hate relationship with Whitney Houston's 'One Moment in Time,' and incensed over the direction of The Young and the Restless.

('That show suffered so much during the writers' strike—will it ever rebound?') Later, he stated: 'Writing this letter to you makes me happy. Whatever happened to us? I miss talking to you, but somehow I know what you're thinking or want to convince myself that I know.'

At the end of the letter, he wrote: '213 area code soon. Call me.'"

Seymour never heard anything further from Matthew, until, years later, when he was flipping through Vanity Fair and happened upon a photo of his long-forgotten friend. He'd transformed himself into Internet pundit Matt Drudge.

Nilla.

[NY Press]