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Andy Dick wears many hats: substance-friendly pansexualist, loving dad, and infrequent cannibal. We can add to that list chicken-wingery-parking-lot-felon, as the comedian was arrested at 2 a.m., found allegedly fondling a teenager in a van parked outside Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant in Murrieta. From TMZ:

Around 1:15 AM this morning cops tell us they responded to a report of a person peeing in the parking lot outside the wing joint, causing a disturbance.

Once there, they stopped a van and found Dick in the passenger seat. He was arrested for allegedly groping a 17-year-old girl's breasts and pulling her top down.

When he was searched, cops say they found weed and one Xanax in his front pants pocket.

We've included the inevitable side-by-side of Dick's mugshot with Heath Ledger's Joker—freakishly similar down the clump of seaweed hanging off their heads and that menacing, "I'm on the list" look in their eyes. They'll both give you nightmares tonight, but only one will probably get an Oscar nomination for their Method madness—and it won't be for outstanding supporting work in Blonde Ambition.