According to a report from TMZ, Andy Dick is in custody after stealing some dude's $1,000 necklace while riding his bike on Hollywood Boulevard.

On Tuesday, Dancing with the Stars announced the troupe of celebrities who would cha-cha into our living rooms and, perhaps, our hearts over the course of its sixteenth season. Despite the best efforts of Gawker.com and Dina Lohan, Dina Lohan was not on the list.

If you said David Letterman, you're wrong. It was Howard Stern he was referring to, whom he described on The Greg Fitzsimmons Show (a radio show on Howard 101) as a "shallow, money-grubbing Jew" with a "big hook nose." L'chaim.

Jennifer Aniston's key grip ex-boyfriend confesses he was too vanilla for her. Katy Perry's Jesus freak parents banned deviled eggs. Charlie Sheen interviews now cost $1 million. Wednesday gossip is out of touch.

After having no luck in finding a roommate, an evicted Roger rethinks his position and agrees to move back while paying a little rent. He never imagined he would be replaced so fast and by none other than Andy Dick.

It was a strange Valentine's Day at Greendale Community College. Troy and Abed fell in love with theme librarian and when she picked Troy (and then called Abed "weird") it was over. Nobody interrupts Troy and Abed's bromance.

Starting today, IFC will air Comedy Death Ray every Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night at 10pm. Host Scott Aukerman will interview celebrities and comedians of note—such as Sarah Silverman and Andy Dick. Previews of their interviews, inside.

Budding starlet Blake Lively splits up with boyfriend and Gossip Girl costar Penn Badgley. Charlie Sheen blames his naked hotel rampage on an "allergic reaction." Boy George throws a drink at a fan. Wednesday's gossip is happy it's over.

• Is it possible that Natalie Portman isn't as sweet as she looks? She reportedly started seeing her new boyfriend, New York City Ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, while he was still dating—and living with—his girlfriend of three years. Portman and Millepied began dating in the fall, but the girlfriend reportedly only got the shaft just after New Year's, poor thing. [P6]
• So are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up or not? One possible sign they are not separating: Pitt was seen returning to the LA home he shares with Jolie yesterday. One sign they are: A British tabloid reports Pitt "secretly" (or not-so-secretly) purchased "a bachelor pad to help him sort out his split from Angelina Jolie," and it's equipped with underground cave "where he can be alone and think about what he does next." Take your pick. [TMZ, DM]
• There's a new party boy in town at Sundance, and his name is Bill Gates. The 54-year-old nerd/philanthropist was spotted dancing on a banquette until 2am and confessed he was on the prowl for "that chick from Twilight" (Kristen Stewart), because he wanted to "see her movie." Or something. [P6]

Which of Brad Pitt's body parts bodes well for Brangelina? Bill Gates dances on a banquette. Topless Donatella Versace shows us what young Hollywood will look like in old age. Natalie Portman has a scandalous new beau. Tuesday gossip cometh.

• Are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up? That's what Britain's News of the World reported over the weekend, suggesting the (unmarried) couple has been meeting with their lawyers in LA to divide up their assets. Whether any of this is true or it's just another rumor is unclear. According to a source that spoke with People, "everything is fine" between Jolie and Pitt, and the story of them splitting is "totally false." [NYDN, NYP, TMZ, People]
• The cast of MTV's most popular new show may not be back for another season. The kids from Jersey Shore reportedly turned down an offer which would have paid them each $5,000 per episode. MTV has since doubled its offer and informed them they'll replace the cast if they don't accept. In related news, the cast sparked a "near-riot" on Friday night when fans descended on a club in Montclair, New Jersey, to catch them in person. [TMZ, Us, NYDN]
• Diddy held a 1,000-person birthday party for his son, Justin, on Saturday night. The highlight of the evening—which was taped for an episode of MTV's Super Sweet Sixteen—was when Diddy gave his son what every 16-year-old needs: a $360,000 silver Maybach and a driver to go with it. [P6, NYDN]

Like Bombs Over Baghdad, Brangelina Breakup insanity continuous through the morning. Andy Dick's non-story sobriety. Johnny Carson: miserable bastard. Michael C. Hall: cunning cancer strategies. Sundance suckage, Susan Boyle rocks, Axl Rose doesn't. Presenting your epic Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup.

Andy Dick: Something about his penis getting in trouble. Rihanna's about to break her man's umbrella off. Helen Mirren has a lesson for your children about getting drunk and stupid. Megan Fox's freaky thumbs! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Samuel L. Jackson turns 62 today. Kiefer Sutherland is turning 43. DreamWorks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg is 59. Ray Romano is turning 52. Andy Dick is celebrating his 44th. Jane Fonda is turning 72. Former talk show host Phil Donahue is 74. French actress Julie Delpy is 40. Jane Kaczmarek of Malcolm in the Middle turns 54. Former Mets pitcher Roger McDowell turns 48. Holly Peterson, the socialite and author of The Manny, is turning 45. And retired tennis champ Chris Evert turns 55 today.

Sherri Shepherd tried to religionize Andy Dick, Heidi claims Spencer makes her orgasm 20-30 times a day, the George Clooney gay rumors are back, Nick Lachey is lonely, Lindsay Lohan scored an acting gig and Mischa Barton has cellulite.

Where Tom Cruise and Beyonce meet in the middle. Where Jennifer Anniston terrifies West Villagers with her half-speed biological clock. Where Jon Gosselin's girlfriend terrifies virginal high school boys. Where Andy's Dick's Little One speaks. Your Saturday Late-Edition Gossip Roundup:

View hostess Sherri Shepherd has worked with Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan, and Andy Dick, among others. So which of these gentlemen was she alluding to when she said she'd witnessed some Christian Bale-sized freakouts?

Chicken-wingery-parking-lot-felon Andy Dick was a very special guest on The View today, where he unveiled his new court-ordered ankle monitor with a Tom Waits-esque blues ditty.

Considering he's spent the last couple of days fending off accusations he's a slumlord, this probably won't be the most cheerful day for hotel/restaurant owner Eric Goode: He celebrates his 51st birthday today. Others born on the 19th of December: Jake Gyllenhaal is 28 today. Alyssa Milano is 36. Tyson Beckford turns 38. Lady Sovereign is turning 23. Criss Angel turns 41. And real estate developer Doug Durst is turning 64. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

Liev Schreiber carrying son Alexander on his back in NoHo ... Sean Lennon taking a walk ... Agyness Deyn carrying two cups of coffee in the East Village ... Andy Dick arriving at JFK ... Naomi Campbell smiling for photographers ... Natasha Bedingfield getting into a limo outside her hotel ... Jennifer Connelly and Anderson Cooper outside the David Letterman show ... Katie Holmes walking with a bodyguard outside her Village apartment building ... and David Duchovny and Tea Leoni attending a Knicks game with their kids.