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Was Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole removal so effective in the sexiness department that the simple laser treatment managed to majorly tighten the trousers of all those T&A experts at Maxim? As we noted this week, SJP found herself caught up in a mystery-laden MoleGate, in which her immortal beauty mark suddenly disappeared. Some (guilty as charged) played the optimist by suggesting the once-highly noticeable imperfection had simply been disguised by some genius makeup artist — but just one day later, her rep confirmed that the SATC star did go under the laser simply because "she was in the mood."

And coincidentally (?) the lads at Maxim have backpedaled on their brutal Rex Reed-like criticism of Parker last winter, when they crowned her the Unsexiest Woman Alive.

In a rather pathetic effort to make amends, the August issue tries to make up for the bullying piece with a shiny new judgment of Parker's appearance. Too bad it’s just a brilliant use of semantics, twisting the same exact insult into a more flowery-sounding version of its original assessment: "This Barbaro-faced broad [needs to] pull her skirt down, Secretariat, we'd rather ride Chris Noth." (Um, we hear Details is hiring?)

To which SJP memorably respondedat the time: "Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's kind of shocking... It's condemnation, it's insane. What can I do?"

Well, SJP? Apparently, get that mole removed and, voila! You're now the magazine's "Unexpected Crush." Congratulations! We think! Sort of!