Like some sort of real-life Gargamel (a single, balding man who lived alone with his cat), Stuart Ross, who brought the extremely gay cartoon show The Smurfs to these American shores, has been arrested for extortion. He was trying to bilk his son-in-law out of millions of dollars, threatening to ruin his reputation with some questionable emails or something. Then he cackled and scarfed down some Smurf berries and desperately tried to work up the courage to ask Vanity Smurf-or, you know, that guy Donald who's a piano teacher and has kind eyes that lives down the hall-out on a date.