Lee Abrams looks like Dunkin Donuts' Fred the Baker without his hair dye. But Fred the Baker got up every day to make donuts, and that's the type of old-style thinking that Lee Abrams is here to destroy! Abrams is the "Chief Innovation Officer" (LOL) of the dying Tribune Company, and also the man who says the most mystifying (and sometimes infuriating) things you will ever hear about the newspaper industry. All the time. Seriously. ""I just try to inpsire people to rethink things," Abrams declared yesterday. "There's no reason we can't create a newspaper renaissance." Ha. Here are ten of Lee Abrams' stupidest "NOT IRRELIVENT" inspirational messages:

  • "If we can morph the Soul of Dylan ... with the innovation of Apple and the eccentric-all-the-way-to-the-bank of Bill Veeck, the WORLD will be a better place."
  • "Lee Abrams...floated some provocative ideas for reviving Tribune's newspapers, including front pages primarily composed of colorful maps."
  • "That is the MAGIC of newspapers...having the ability to BE the print arm of what a city IS...and aspires to be. Quite honestly, I don't think there's a paper in the Country that REALLY does this right....at least not in 2008 terms. It's not a swipe — it's an opportunity—A BIG one. BE the city...in 2008." [Punctuation by Abrams]
  • "Complete and total domination. That's the idea. And...Funny thing, by re-igniting this 'natural' audience, lower demos will follow....but not by TRYING too hard to reach them. I call it cult and fringe. Cult is your natural reader aka core. For a RedEye it's young, a mainstream paper old. I think RedEye does a fantastic job with its cult. They are new and pure."
  • "My read: There's ONE important way to sell the change—SHOW THE PAPER. Let people touch, see and live with it. The worst thing would be a marketing slogan "Now...Your New Daily Paper...more concise...more engaging". That will likely come off as marketing BS that no-one will buy into. You gotta SHOW people the actual NEW newspaper."
  • "NOTICABLY growing our products (vs. salvaging them) will likely do that. GROWING is the key word."
  • "if we sell the outstanding content and prsent it in a more intelligent manner, it'll speak volumes."
  • "Q: Editorial-wise, is some of what has been done traditionally now irrelevant? A: NOT IRRELIVENT BUT SUPERSCEDED BY OTHER MEDIA WHO DO WHAT NEWSPAPERS ONCE 'OWNED' BETTER."
  • "THE ONLINE ARCHIVES! These are amazing! Yet, a mystery...hidden."
  • "Are these amazing ideas? Not really."