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• If you're out shopping and you find yourself facing off against Kelly Killoren Bensimon for the last dress in your size, let her have it: The former model and Real Housewives star was arrested and charged with third-degree assault last week after punching her 30-year-old boyfriend in the face, leaving him with a "black eye and opening a blood-gushing gash on his left cheek." [NYP, NYDN]
• Poor Olivia Palermo says she's been misrepresented by MTV producers, since she's actually "a much nicer person in real life." Also? She's currently "vacationing in London with her model boyfriend," if you're interested. [People]
• How's this for a comeback: Rihanna and Chris Brown have reportedly been holed up in a studio working on a new track together for the past few days. [E!]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are supposedly heading on a camping trip "across America." Naturally, bodyguards and a Scientology official will be going along for the ride. [Mirror]
• Lorne Michaels' stalker was ordered by a judge to stay away from the SNL and get psychological counseling. [NYDN]
• Opie & Anthony was dumped by CBS Radio yesterday. [NYDN]
• Mariska Hargitay is expected to miss "several weeks" of Law & Order: SVU filming while she recovers from surgery to repair a collapsed lung. [EW]
• Hayden Panettiere screamed "Don't you ever touch me!" at a reporter who touched her on the shoulder during an event in Hawaii on Sunday. [MSNBC]
• Quentin Tarantino was almost refused entry to Webster Hall because he was dressed like such a bum. [P6]
• Charles Barkley was released from jail yesterday. [E!]
• Mischa Barton and her latest boyfriend, Luke Pritchard, have split. [People]
• Alec Baldwin has signed on to co-host a Saturday night show called The Essentials on Turner Classic Movies. [Variety]
• Jamie Lynn Spears is working on a country music album. [OK!]
• Sarah Luna designer Sarah Blumenthal and former Wilhelmina exec Adam Schneider are getting divorced after just over a year of marriage. [P6]
• Paris Hilton says her new boyfriend Doug Reinhardt has given her "more presents than any guy ever." You can insert your own joke here. [People]