Everyone Has A Sudden Hatecrush On Hank Paulson
It is a stunning reversal of fortune of the sort his old investment bank just narrowly averted thanks to Warren Buffet and the government to which he to which he does not have to pay any of those "tax dollars" he is throwing around to save his old neighborhood! But yes, sources are now informing us Billionairish bald man Hank Paulson is officially hot. Just yesterday we were still thinking the Treasury Secretary and Most Important Man in America Right Now looked creepy and mechanical compared to his furry little Fed Chief partner in congressional rage collection. Then suddenly today our very own commenters are telling us that no, actually, he is hot. As with all the really significant developments in this market collapse, Daily Intel started this trend when they posted a shirtless photo of Hank circa 1973. But look, he got the job done. Unless Republicans succeed in botching the plan he will save Wall Street. Very fast. So who is this guy?Judging from the recent Fortune profile we went back and read, he is exactly the type of dude we'd never see ourselves getting involved with, which maybe gives you some insight into how he has stayed married for 39 years. A non-ideological mild-mannered Republican pragmatist who likes to work out, he's depicted as a consummate optimist. Oh yeah and he doesn't drink. "Slow to grasp the seriousness of the credit crunch." And there's this scary quote that is so scary because he sounds like he thinks he is expressing some serious conviction:
"When there is intervention, I really believe that the shareholders need to lose. Bear Stearns was a great old institution, but I don't know how you can put government money in there and protect the shareholders."
But one specific detail about this guy just stuck out as so amazingly awesome: Paulson is a Christian Scientist. Don't Christian Scientists not believe in medicine or something? Isn't that like the Ron Paul of religions? Because it's a pretty massive irony that Wall Street is on life support and we've got a follower of a religion that doesn't believe in America's Awesome First Rate Health Care System "playing God."