ALL THAT NO ONE WANTS: Ace Of Base will release a new album in 2009, along with a Greatest Hits compilation and a world tour. Now with the Backstreet Boys' comeback, the New Kids' comeback, and this album, 1990-2010 will be a palindrome. (Dlisted)
NEW EXCUSE: Janet Jackson claims she is feeling "too nasty" to perform and is postponing a series of performances. That's odd, because whenever Prince feels "too nasty" he doubles his tour dates. (NY Daily News)
BE ATTENTION WHORISH AND MULTIPLY: Jessica Simpson says she wants "six kids," figuring that (6 Kids) x (9 Months of Pregnancy) x (6 1st Birthday Parties) x (6 More Cowboys Playoff Collapses) = About 700 consecutive months of sustained worthless attention. (OK! Magazine)
MAD HATTERS, YO: Find an Indy hat, keep an Indy hat — Another Indiana Jones marketing campaign that's way more plausible and enjoyable than the movie itself. (Zoomdoggle)
THIS IS LAME: Apparently, messing with a friend of a Facebook employee is more dangerous than messing with a friend of the mob. At least this way, you know what your assassin's Favorite Movie Quotes are. (Drunken Stepfather)
