Well now, we got our hands on a survey of people who watch Mad Men, the critically acclaimed show that consists of sex, sexism, cigarettes, booze, boozy sex, racism, and a bit of advertising. And guess what? The audience appears to be made up of off-the-charts alcoholics. Forty-seven times the normal rate of hard Irish Whiskey drinkers, for example. But there's one stunning twist in all this here data!

Lushes. But!

Cigarette smoking amongst Mad Men fans is almost exactly in line with the national average! Unless the national average is "four packs of Luckies, chain-smoked on an office couch," that's astounding.