Hike! For some reason, daughter forgetter Ashton Kutcher has spent the last year assistant coaching the Harvard-Westlake freshman football team, a duty that mostly involves protecting them from the advances of hungry cougar Demi Moore. Yet, the kids are not all right. "The kids want him gone," a source tells Star. "They think he doesn't know what he's talking about and can't stand his tough-guy attitude." The high-schoolers have even nicknamed him "Ashton Doucher." Kids today! Back in our day, "Asston" would have been the no-brainer. [Star]