Everyone But John Cusack Dies, and Other Key Revelations From New '2012' Teaser
Sony yesterday released the new teaser for the apocalyptic epic 2012, sort of a Groundhog Day meets The Day After Tomorrow in which Earth's inhabitants wake up one morning to find director Roland Emmerich once again destroying everything in sight. There's little on hand to illuminate the plot that star John Cusack so vigorously protected earlier this year in a chat with Defamer, but here's what we can suss from a couple viewings so far:1. Emmerich's campy, well-fortified London townhouse? Saved. 2. Tibet? Gone. 3. Killer-tidal wave CGI technology has not advanced especially far in the five years since Day After Tomorrow. 4. Emmerich is returning to the political satire at which he acquitted himself so expertly before stumbling over historical comedy with 10,000 B.C. 5. If you look really, really close, we think you can spot Cusack boogieboarding into the doomed monastery. BONUS: If you're especially determined to get something out of this, amuse yourself and your coworkers by reading the intertitles in your best Don LaFontaine voice. It's fun!