The New York Times ran a story a couple weeks back about a sad little latchkey kid who deemed himself a food critic while eating dinner at a restaurant by himself. Yeah, he like took a wee notebook along and everything. It's devastating and precocious and weird and vaguely annoying. Which means it would make the perfect movie! Saturday Night Live head Canadian Lorne Michaels and MGM scion John Goldwyn have bought the rights to the story, which they hope to turn into a "a youth-themed empowerment film."

They also might seek "life rights" to the young epicurean fop, named David Fishman, we guess in the hopes that his little journal scrawlings will produce more gold like "As I left, I knew that soon enough this would be one of the most ‘hip’ places in the city." Because everyone loves it when 12-year-olds tell them what's going to be hip. You know, there used to be a time when kids were allowed to be kids and this kind of sad, I'm-a-grown-up-now, desperate pay-attention-to-me behavior was discouraged and parents were chastised for ignoring their lonely offspring. Nowadays, what with progress and all, kids like this get NYT profiles and movie deals and their kiddie gumption, in place of any actual knowledge of what food criticism actually is, is richly rewarded.