Damn, Australians are not playing around! Shortly after Nicole Kidman desecrated human life, everywhere, by being forced to barely blow into a didgeridoo on German television, her home country has leveled insane threats against her:

"People are going to see Nicole playing it and think it's all right," award-winning actor, screenwriter and Aboriginal language teacher Richard Green told Tuesday's Sydney Morning Herald.

"It bastardises our culture. I will guarantee she has no more children. It is not meant to be played by women as it will make them barren."

Kidman, who suffered an ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage during her former marriage to fellow actor Tom Cruise, gave birth to daughter Sunday Rose after marrying country crooner Keith Urban in 2006.

Way to hit her where it hurts, kind Oceania. Fortunately, what Green doesn't know is that Kidman is still planning to birth a child, Athena-like, from her smooth, shiny forehead. Yes, those were not Botox shots but fertility treatments, and once little Tuesday Cauliflower emerges her first act will be to suck on a didgeridoo too, just to be spiteful.