It seems any Tom Cruise appearance lately is predicated on image rehabilitation, whether making amends with Matt Lauer, who he famously suckerpunched on live TV in a heated disagreement over Wellbutrin,

...or issuing caveat emptors to recent blank-eyed-bride-purchaser Spencer Pratt ("It's all fine and dandy until they start developing a self-sustaining operating system. Just watch A.I., Spence, then read the third chapter of Hubbard's Wifeanetics. You'll thank me later.")

But none of these compared to his appearance on Late Show last night, in which he partook of perhaps the most sacrosanct of self-effacing pop culture rituals: the Reading of the Top Ten List. Making sure to set his spiraling pupils to "solid," Tom looked relaxed and in good spirits as he bravely dove into OT-eating-blogger-infested waters, with "The Craziest Things People Say About Tom Cruise on the Internet."

The biggest laughs came from the two observations that hewed closest to the truth : "4. I believe all emotional and psychological disorders can be cured with Vicks Vaporub," and "3. I'm a power-mad egomaniac who's completely insulated from reality. Oh, wait, no that's Letterman." The stinging self-satire may have helped ease him back into potential Valkyrie-goers' good graces, but we can only imagine the disapproving glare awaiting him from David Miscavige, who'd sentence him to "eleven hours of sweating out his pathetic, 'Love me, America!'-thetans in the Celebrity Centre Dungeon Sauna. That's right: the one without the flatscreen!" [Late Show]