While tonight’s Late Show interview with Bernie Sanders was absent any of the respective tears or deep, deep discomfort that characterized Colbert’s two biggest moments so far (and at least compared to every other candidate interview we’ve seen), Sanders still manages to leave you with the impression that the man is just so goddamn human.

If you try to slip anything past famous masturbation comedian Anna Kendrick, she is going to call you on your bullshit. That's what David Letterman learned when Kendrick felt compelled to point out that a cat toy that appeared earlier in the Late Show was really a furry dildo in disguise.

It's been known since April that David Letterman would retire in 2015, with Stephen Colbert as his successor, but the date was up in the air until now: Letterman will host his final Late Show on May 20, 2015, ending his run at 6,028 episodes, reports Dave Itzkoff of the New York Times.

Joaquin Phoenix told an elaborate story about yoga last night on the Late Show, wildly acting out a position called "harnessing the hog," which apparently involved his instructor cradling his man-bits with a strap. The punchline: They started dating and are now engaged.

Tony Mendez, Dave Letterman's long-time cue card guy, got fired this week when he assaulted the Emmy-nominated staff writer he had been arguing with.

The Late Show was off last week when news of Robin Williams' death broke, so last night David Letterman dedicated a portion of his show to remembering his close friend of 38 years.

Actor/Ph.D candidate James Franco was on the Colbert Report last night to promote his movie opening this week, Child of God, and generally just act like James Franco. Whatever. You can skip everything until the very end of the interview, where Franco slyly tries to get an in-character Stephen Colbert to discuss his impending move to The Late Show.

As hard as it is to believe, no one had ever uttered the phrase "sucks balls" on the Late Show until Louis C.K. did it last night, while describing his feelings about Letterman leaving the show.

Lindsay Lohan's two segments on the Late Show with David Letterman weren't entirely awkward. Though Letterman continued to grill Lohan on rehab and her addictions, in this clip from later in the interview, he referenced all the jokes he's made at her expense and praised her for having "enough spine, enough sense of yourself, enough poise to come out here and talk to me." Lohan teared up to the point of having trouble setting up the clip from Scary Movie 5, which she was there to promote. Humanity shines through.

Selena Gomez went on Letterman last night, ostensibly to discuss her new movie, Spring Breakers.

On the Late Show with David Letterman last night, smart-mouthed superstar Jennifer Lawrence explained her controversial acceptance speech for Best Actress - Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical for Silver Linings Playbook at Sunday's Golden Globes. "What does it say? I beat Meryl," is how she opened her speech, and she explained to Letterman that she was referencing the 1996 revenge comedy The First Wives Club. She didn't mention, though, that she was also referencing the truth, because she did, in fact, beat Meryl Streep, who was nominated for Hope Springs.

The one and only Bill Murray demonstrated why there couldn't possibly be another one like him with a Late Show entrance that only he could pull off.

Ostensibly there to promote the new Woody Allen film To Rome With Love, Alec Baldwin used an appearance on the Late Show With David Letterman tonight to tell his side of his recent scuffle with a paparazzo.

On the Late Show tonight, guest Will Smith opens up about slapping a Ukrainian reporter who tried to sneak-kiss him on the red carpet.

Visiting his Late Night predecessor David Letterman for the first time since 1999, talk show host Conan O'Brien took the opportunity to discuss the infamous Tonight Show debacle with a man who knows a thing or two about Tonight Show debacles.

Jon Hamm stopped by the Late Show with David Letterman tonight to ostensibly promote his new film Friends with Kids, but the conversation turned, naturally, to Mad Men, which premieres in just over three weeks. Who's excited?

Jessica Biel stopped by tonight's Late Show to chat with David Letterman and promote New Year's Eve, rom-com king Garry Marshall's star-studded regurgitation of 2010's inexplicably successful Valentine's Day. At one point, Letterman read Biel a list of about 15 of her A-list co-star to see how many of them she'd actually filmed with—any guesses?

Justin Bieber stopped by the Late Show this evening for a chat with David Letterman. At one point, Bieber noted that he'd been to "every continent." But after being challenged by Letterman to actually name each of them, Bieber was less than successful. See that, plus Letterman telling Bieber that a photo of him looks like Marie Osmond, in the above video.

Herman Cain stuck around for three segments on tonight's Late Show, during which a noticeably "I'm not here for this" David Letterman listened to him give rambling half-truth answers to questions about everything from his "999" economic plan, to his smoking campaign manager (who was there, smoking), to the sexual harassment allegations that have mired his campaign as of late. A clip of Letterman and Cain's tense discussion related to the sexual harassment scandal is above.

Regis Philbin bids farewell to Live! tomorrow, but he still had time to stop by tonight's Late Show. Philbin stuck around for much of the hour, during which he and David Letterman talked about making out with each other, the possibility of Jerry Seinfeld coming between them, and more. Then, Philbin crashed the Vespa that Letterman bought for him as a retirement present. Here's our video of highlights.