Svelte Ricky Gervais Will Never Stop Making Fun of Fat People
It appears that Ricky Gervais has taken Simon Pegg's weight-related criticism to heart, as the Oscars-eschewing star has begun slamming the overweight in the press, causing some controversy. And he's not taking it back!
In Gervais's opening salvo, he bashed the "lazy fucking fat pigs" who get gastric bypass surgery instead of exercising. Crullers fell to the floor all over Britain as an aggrieved, overweight populace took to the internet to register its disapproval, but Gervais, like his targets, refuses to budge. On his blog, he defended the comments:
I heard someone on the radio once say that they were tired of the prejudice aimed at the overweight. They said something like "you're not allowed to make fun of gay people, so why are you allowed to make fun of fat people? It's the same thing."
It's not the same thing though, is it? Gay people are born that way. They didn't work at becoming gay. Fat people became fat because they would rather be that way than stop eating so much. They had to eat and eat to get fat. Then, when they were fat they had to keep up the eating to stay fat. For gayness to be the same as fatness, gay people would have to start off straight but then ween themselves onto cock. Soon they're noshing all day getting gayer and gayer. They've had more than enough cock... they're full... they're just sucking for the sake of it. Now they're overgay, and frowned upon by people who can have the occasional cock but not over indulge.
When a doctor tells me that that's how you become gay, I'll stop making jokes about fat people.
Sadly, the affliction Gervais describes is all too real (so says the New York Times!), a painful form of forced homosexual indoctrination known as Manhuntococcal inflammation. While lap band surgery does little but make the patient more desirable, there are some cures; Promises can offer free treatment (rooms and notoriety permitting), though more deep-pocketed victims may enjoy the niacin purification, group encounters, and helpful bearding provided by the Scientology Celebrity Centre.