Look, Dr. Oz: Only Oprah is allowed to refer to her weight gain, and when she does, you're supposed to say, "What weight gain? Why, you look fit and healthy—not like that Viola Davis!"

Sadly, Oprah's favorite cleric never got the memo, and thus, his rejoinder to a self-effacing Oprah monologue about her weight was to imply she was a couch potato. Though Oprah pretended not to hear (criticism does not penetrate her aura, only affirmation and jellybeans), we fear for Dr. Oz; when Gayle goes in for the after-show hug while hiding a loaded Walther PPK inside her sensible J.Jill peacoat, he can't say he wasn't warned. [Oprah]