Today’s episode of Dr. Oz returned to the subject of Charlie Sheen’s HIV and the experimental treatment he received from a “doctor” who practices in Mexico, Sam Chachoua. Chachoua allegedly injected himself with Sheen’s HIV positive blood and more recently discussed his treatment of arthritic goat milk on Real Time with Bill Maher, on which Chachoua received 10 minutes of airtime with virtually no scrutiny from Maher.

On today’s episode of Dr. Oz, Charlie Sheen revealed that he had gone off the live-saving cocktail of antiretroviral drugs he was prescribed to treat his HIV, which predictably caused the level of HIV in his blood to become once again detectable. Sheen said when he came out as HIV positive, he began to receive offers of alternative medicines that he then explored. At one point he said of his antiretroviral therapy as “amazing for the [viral load] number, but I don’t know how amazing it’s been for me, ya know?”

According to CNN, Dr. Oz will air a special episode of his show on Thursday striking back at a public letter that has accused the shit-filled man of being full of shit, promising his audience, “We will not be silenced, we will not give in.”

"Have you ever held a heart?" Dr. Oz asked Barbra Streisand seemingly out of nowhere, the way a friend might ask another friend, "What sound or noise do you love?" or "What's your favorite scary movie?"

Dr. Oz has been in hot water lately for shilling weight-loss products with no proven benefits on his popular daytime talk show. Last night, John Oliver joined the pile-on with a little help from his tap-dancing friends.

Dr. Mehmet Oz—of the The Dr. Oz Show fame—was hauled in front of a Senate panel today to answer for all the dubious benefits he claims certain weight loss products will provide. Products that he officially endorses with his name on the label. Products that he shills on his nationally-syndicated daytime television show.

We've all been there, posing for Good Housekeeping magazine while inhaling the zesty aroma of a pasta dish so succulent that there's a little movement— ooh— aahh— please turn to page 162 for stain removal tips.

Six weeks ago, ABC replaced All My Children with a new food-focused daytime talk show called The Chew. Hosted by Mario Batali, fellow Iron Chef Michael Symon, Top Chef favorite Carla Hall, What Not to Wear's Clinton Kelly and Daphne Oz (daughter of Dr. Mehmet Oz), it's a combination of The View and Rachael Ray—but worse.

Last week Dr. Oz showed America all the crap inside of his colon. Now The Doctors has provided us with the strangest poop demonstration we've ever seen, and, boy, have I seen some strange poop demonstrations.

Today Oprah acolyte Dr. Oz showed his audience the results of his colonoscopy and it was freaking gross. Not only did Oz's doctor find a pre-cancerous polyp, he also found a colon was full of rice and lentils.

This morning Dr. Oz started adjusting to life after Oprah by making an appearance on The View. While discussing the benefits of fiber with the ladies, he noted that one of its side effects is gas. Naturally, this caused Whoopi Goldberg to start farting it up.

TV health guru Dr. Mehmet Oz explained yeast infections today, and the result was like going to a muppet gynecologist while on PCP. Here's the trippy segment, in which Dr. Oz pretends to be a molecule of bacteria in a lady's vagina and explains how thong panties make vaginas poopy.

Last year, the best-selling magazine in America was Sandra Bullock's "Meet My Baby" issue of People. Second-best? Woman's World's "Dr. Oz's Metabolism Makeover!" issue, which features an image of Dr. Oz on its cover—right next to a picture of a pie (top left).

Dr. Oz attempted to have a very calm debate on the pros and cons of medical marijuana but many audience members had other plans. This guy, in particular, was ready guns a-blazing.

The last time Dr. Oz saw Jimmy, he offered to personally remove a mole from his hand. Because Dr. Memhet Oz films across the hall from Late Night, Jimmy popped in to the studio today to actually do it.

The Oprah Winfrey Network launched yesterday. New York Times television critic Alessandra Stanley calls it "a place where cynicism takes a holiday and mockery hasn't yet been invented." This will not stand.

Besides scaring the shit out of people, America's favorite medical fearmonger, Dr. Mehmet Oz, is also apparently a bad neighbor. He planted 46-foot cedar trees to hide his pool from paparazzi, but ruined his neighbor's property value in the process.

Today's Oprah Winfrey Show asked, "Are you normal?" and Winfrey had on Dr. Oz to discuss people's gross habits. What did we learn? Winfrey looks at her poop after going. Then, she and Oz popped a giant zit. Video inside.

Today Dr. Oz opened the floor to the female anatomy and tips on healthy sex, producing a segment showered with awkward puns and audience members. Watch this guest "bowl" her way to an orgasm—what a sport.

You have to appreciate a doctor that doesn't mind getting a little messy for the message of good health. Today on Dr. Oz, we learned not only should we stomp on grapes... but we should rub them on our face.