John Mayer gifts at a 15-year-old level; Prince Harry still offends every non-white person he encounters and Sarah Jessica Parker will always be saddled with cheap jokes. It's arrested development.

  • John Mayer is thinking of giving Jennifer Aniston a song for her 40th birthday, someone told People. Um, nice try, someone else (ahem) told OK!, but John will be giving Jen an engagement ring, or he can pack his things and leave, already.
  • Let's mock Sarah Jessica Parker's "hoof shoes," REAL FUNNY GATECRASHER GUYS. We get it. She looks like a horse. You were obviously chomping at the bit to trot this sort of humor out, but maybe you could move beyond mare appearance jokes? Yea or neighhhh? [Gatecrasher]
  • Sure, Chris Brown is rumored to have split Rihanna's lip, left contusions on her face and choked her to unconsciousness. But you should see what Rihanna's flack did to Page Six! It was downright shameful. [P6]
  • Prince Harry was a terrible racist again, telling a comedian at Prince Charles' 60th birthday, "You don't sound like a black chap." Harry has probably already told his friends he's now done trying to give compliments, no one appreciates them. [Sun]
  • Now that Alex Rodriguez is the steroid-scandal whipping boy, Jose Canseco figures it's safe to shop his reality show idea. Nice to see he's moved beyond one morally bankrupt, money-making celebrity fad, right into another. [P6]
  • Andy Serwer will teach you how to fake being the editor of Fortune, based on his own first-hand experience. [P6]
  • OK! can't even post good sales when its competitors are physically removed from Wal-Mart stores. [Scoop]