Which is less appropriate: A brand-newmom performing at the Oscars, from bed, or an image-conscious Olympian trying to lay low in a strip club? Decide for yourself.

  • Pregnant rapper M. I. A. did such a good job at the Grammys that Oscars show producers say they're desperate to book the overdue fresh-minted mom to perform "O Saya" from the excellent Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack. "We are happy to bring some sort of fabulous bed on stage if that means M.I.A. can be there." (UPDATE: Oh right, she finally had the kid. Sorry for calling you "twisted," Oscars producers!)
  • To protect his reputation, Michael Phelps is hanging out in strip clubs. He figures no one can take his picture there. [Page Six]
  • Justin Timberlake didn't literally beat away the models with a stick at Fashion Week, but it sounds like it almost came to that. Apparently it wasn't enough that he was making out furiously with Jessica Biel. Models can be dense. [Gatecrasher]
  • Angelina Jolie might move to Manhattan. She was looking at a place in Washington Heights. They might already be remodeling the building for her. [Us]
  • Jennifer Aniston might run into Jolie at the Oscars. Scientists have various theories on what will happen in the collision, and warn there's no way of knowing anything for certain in advance of the actual event. Goggles, as always, are recommended for onlookers. [OK!]
  • Sarah Jessica Parker thinks the next Sex And The City movie will need to be "recession-friendly." Which sounds so implausible it gives us hope the recession might finally kill off the franchise, forever. [Us]
  • MC Hammer finally got his own reality show, focusing on his life as a "new-age dad" in Oakland. A&E picked it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
  • Guy Ritchie is pissed because he has to re-shoot various Sherlock Holmes scenes, because he was distracted by his divorce from Madonna. As though we all weren't distracted by his divorce from Madonna. [Sun]
  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are suddenly not going to the Oscars, for some reason. Maybe so they can get some press when they do go to the Oscars. [OK!]