The singer was rumored to be a special guest at last night's Academy Awards ceremony but, as happened with the Grammys, the beating she received from boyfriend Chris Brown kept her away.

  • That's just a rumor that Page Six is whispering about, so who knows if it's true or not. It's sort of hard to imagine where she would have fit into the ceremony, unless it was during the Original Song performances or in lieu of Queen Latifah singing the sad dead people song. [P6]
  • Celebrity people-saver Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger was at Vanity Fair's big Oscar party in Lorst Angrilleez, enjoying the scene with his wife. It sure beat how the hero pilot spent last year's Oscars, which was sitting at a Houlihan's outpost in the Detroit airport, eating a burger, sullenly. (GETTTT ITTTT??) [P6]
  • A bunch of old broads attended the New York Oscar Night party at the Carlyle last night, including Helen Hunt's mother from As Good As It Gets, that one lady who's in everything and was really good in Junebug, and the most fabulous woman ever to teeter around on two gams, Elaine Stritch. An old gay ghost sat at the bar and drank a ghost Vodka Collins, remembering the old days and eagerly awaiting these dames to join him in ghostdom. [P6]
  • Ever the dignified, awards-nominated gentleman, actor turned brawler turned brawler-actor Mickey Rourke tried to feel up Jessica Alba at Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards. His line, I hope? "This is as close to an Oscar nomination as you're ever gonna get." [NYDN]
  • ZOMG! Lonely and miserable actress Jennifer Aniston had the balls to go and present an Oscar award in front of her ex-husband and his current be-lipped squeeze, Angelica Jolson. Apparently the sad, ruined Aniston gazed at Brad Pitt when the lights were dark during her segment, then gave him a pathetic, hangdog smile. The beautiful, cunning witchress Jolson didn't get a smile, but she did slither her snake-like arm around her stolen prize to show the haggard old sack of straw up there in her humiliating little party dress that she had won. After the show, Aniston checked into a motel room near the airport and shot herself. [Us]
  • In unrelated-to-the-Oscars-in-any-way "news", Nadya Suleman—that crazy person who has 146 children, some of whom are fortythreetuplets—says that the dude saying he's the father of some of the doomed little ragamuffins isn't actually the father. "He didn't work," she says of his attempts to splooge in or around her baginical area so the little fish that live in his balls could make a baby in her eggs. [Us]