The Oscar Parties You'll Never Be Invited To
While you sat on the couch bleary-eyed and stunned that you lost your Oscar pool, the rich and famous schmoozed and drank til dawn. To share the experience, we have a gallery for you.
Photos from the Vanity Fair party red carpet are via AP. Governors' Ball photos are via Getty.

Diablo Cody's life is better than yours.

Ginnfer Goodwin: We're just not that into that dress you're in. (That's a joke about that movie she's in, How to Lose a Guy While Raising Helen in the Sex City, All This Being Done While Wearing Prada).

Melissa Leo, Kevin Kline, and Phoebe Cates are probably telling each other fart jokes.

Sarah Jessica Parker is still wearing that dress.

Anne Hathaway checks every fifteen minutes to make sure her butt is still there.

Debra Messing recently fired her stylist Rachel Zoe. Her new stylist is a 74-year-old Persian rug maker she met on Atlantic Avenue.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer: The happiest couple in Hollywood.

Abbie Cornish and Ryan Phillipe: Cheaters!!!

Adrien Brody moves in on Slumdog Dev Patel's girl, Freida Pinto.

Marisa Tomei, 44, entertains a trio of young men.

What's become of Naomi Watts?

Robert Downey Jr. is either snapping or telling the camera people how he really feels.

Shirley MacLaine hopes that if she stays perfectly still, it will go away.

Meryl Streep checks every fifteen minutes and yes, goddammit to hell, Anne Hathaway is still there.

Oh never mind, Freida. Dev Patel has a new beloved.

Penelope Cruz: "Ith made offff yold!"

"Cigarette, Sean Penn?" "Why yes, thank you Robin Wright Penn."

This is Kate Winslet's life for the next forty years.

Oh poor Dev. Cuckolded again. This time by Danny Boyle

Hah. Sad old Jessica Biel changed out of her ugly dress into... an uglier one.