The Way We Live Now: In rubble, soaked in our own urine. Americans are giving up on baseball. Iraqis are giving up on jobs. And entire cities are giving up on existence and bulldozing themselves.

Yankee stadium. Citi Field. New. Shiny. Expensive $2500 seats! Which are empty, because, really, who is gonna buy that, right now, really? So fans cluster in the upper decks and eat the snacks they snuck in from home while the ushers stop them from moving down into the good, empty, expensive seats. What would Goose Gossage think?

Iraq. War-torn. But getting better! Jobs are open. But Iraqis won't take them, because they don't care for the car bombs and whatnot. So foreign workers from Bangladesh and other wretched countries are rushing in to fill the gap. Makes it harder for foreign reporters to discuss current events with cafe waiters. What would Thomas Friedman think?

Flint, Michigan. A terrible city, in Michgan. Was once big. Now getting smaller. Because rather than pursue the impossible task of rehabilitating decrepit and abandoned neighborhoods, the city is just bulldozing them. Forget it. Huddle together. Hold the fort. More open spaces! What would Jane Jacobs think?

Trouble. The name of a dog. A tiny Maltese. Owned by Leona Helmsly. Got left $12 mil by Leona in her will. Courts stepped in. Now? Only $2 mil for Trouble. The rest goes to "charities." Is Maltese coddling not a charity? What would Leona think?

We give up.