Who shall be next in the procession of people more famous than you to testify in the sad case of famous society lady Brooke Astor and her thieving-ass son? Lo, it is Barbara Walters, and her sidekick, Henry Kissinger!

The NYT says Kissinger "possessed a charming waddle and a smile." Some war criminals do indeed possess charming waddles! "Everyone from the judge to the court officers seemed enamored of Dr. Kissinger." War criminal charm is irresistible! This was his most important testimony:

At a dinner party Mrs. Astor had at her apartment in January 2002 for Kofi Annan, Dr. Kissinger testified, Mrs. Astor leaned toward him and asked, "Who is the black fellow who is sitting on the other side of me?"

"Kofi Annan," he said he responded.

It's a classic embarrassing old person racial moment, but with higher stakes. Then came Barbara Walters who offered a picture of steely reserve in the face of some dumbass lawyer:

That lawyer had gotten off on the wrong foot with Walters anyway — asking her, first question out of the box, "Any chance Ms. Loewy is going to be on 'The View' next week?" — that being prosecutor Elizabeth Loewy, who had conducted the direct examination.

"Did you ask me if she is going to be on 'The View?' " Walters said, angrily. "Are we serious? No."

Kissinger then ordered that that lawyer's home be bombed.
[NYT, NYP. Pic of Kissinger falling down stairs: AP]