The media job market is tough. But there are always freelancing opportunities on Craigslist! Right? Right! Terrible, degrading freelance opportunities. Follow these onerous submission guidelines and you too could one day earn literally dozens of dollars, by writing!

Talented young writers, here are your choices in the media world of 2009: Be laid off; pay $13,000 for an internship; or become a Craigslist slave for "valuable" "exposure."

Terrible Ad #1: A mysterious "Mr. Smith" offers you the opportunity to apply for 'Bleue Blood: The Lifestyle Manual For the Modern Gentleman." Hopefully as a copy editor, heh. Modern Gentlemen don't need salaries, but they do need "national exposure," on the internet. And "it would be good if you have a professional pen name." So nobody can associate you with this publication.

Terrible Ad #2: The pay scale here is "sliding." Presumably "$2 (blog posts)-$10 (features)" would be the top of the sliding scale. Something to aspire to! Judging by the site, the writing work's not too intense, but do they have to know so much about your tastes to decide whether you're capable of, say, re-posting a video from another blog? It's not hard, trust us! "Because of the volume of submissions," do not expect a response to your essay-length application for this pauper-esque job.

We'll make it to that mountaintop yet.