Nobody Puts Sandra Bullock In a Corner
Sandy Bullock is back in the game, folks! At a lean, mean 45 the actress has pulled off a huge opening. Some credit should go, we suppose, to costars Ryan Reynolds and Betty White. But mostly, yeah, this is Sandy's.
1) The Proposal — $34.1 million
Dag, you guys. People just really like Sandra Bullock. Ever since she nervously steered a speeding explode-O-bus around Los Angeles and everyone said "awww", the woman has been near-unstoppable. Yes there have been the sad little failures like Premonition and many other movies that exist that she's done, but here's something! A mid-summer romantic comedy with, yes, little competition that just barnstormed the fucker and won the weekend pretty handily. She beat the drunken, sad, lonely ugly boys of The Hangover, as she should have, and I guess you've Ryan Reynolds' chiseled Canadia-O-physique to thank too. Everyone likes to see Canadians pretend to be Americans while Americans pretend to be Canadians and then there's a party in Alaska with Betty White. That's just what people like.
2) The Hangover — $26.9 million
Dude. WTF. Could a summer comedy ever hope for this? Will a summer comedy demand this again? Yes, and yes, probably. Now that one alchemy witch-moment of summer film magick has occurred, like an incident at Owl Creek, ey'body's gonna try and reproduce it. I've said this before and will continue saying it so long as I'm under the employ of the Gawker Media thunderdome: Dudes like other dudes who like ladies and get drunk a lot. This is a fact like rain or terminal rickets. Some things exist in this world, other things don't. The Dudes abiding will always exist, like sand in your shoes at the end of the summer. Or like bearded men running, wild and frothing, through the Nevada desert. A constant. The Northern Star.
3) Up — $21.3 million
Oh, and people also like magical-mystical-wonderful-sad animated 3D movies about old men who learn to be young again. Everyone knows that Pixar films do well at the box office—they're basically guaranteed quality, and every parent from potato chip-sucking Decatur little league mom to NPR-marinated hippie-dip castoff Brooklyn dad will take their youngins—but this is a special case. Special because it's not based on anything and its concept, while High, isn't really the same as Cars Come Alive or Robots In Love. This story is weird and a bit sideways. But no one seems to mind. Because, look, balloons! And other wonderful things. That old man is learning to love again. Love!!
4) Year One — $20.2 million
Hm. Well, this didn't go as well planned. This is a movie that cost $60 million to make, which is ridiculous, and probably a lot more to market. Plus Jack Black is such guaranteed comedy money. Oh, well, wait. No, I guess he's really not. That was just a dream some of us had. Ah well. So was it the unreliable Black factor that made this movie underperform? Was it the headlining of minnowy nobody Michael Cera? Was is that Harold Ramis decided to make a romp through biblical stories and wayyy revisionist prehistory that no one really got the whole thrust of? Yes. To all of that.
5) The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 — $11.3 million
Oh dear. Something about this movie just didn't quite stick. Denzel fatigue? Travolta apathy? Perhaps yes. Also, what the damn hell is that title all about? I know it's been explained to me, and I believe it. But c'mon folks. You just don't title a summer movie like that. You just don't. No one wants to do a math problem here. We just want fucking popcorn.