Well this settles it: Italian PM and noted insane corrupt horndog Silvio Berlusconi says "I've never paid a woman." So the whole "fucked an escort" thing can't possibly be true, right? Or, uh...

''I've never paid a woman. I never understood where the satisfaction is when you're missing the pleasure of conquest,'' Berlusconi told Chi.

Well, leaving aside the fact that Berlusconi is lying, we are pretty sure the original accusation was that Silvio's friend, businessman Gianpaolo Tarantini, was the guy who paid the ladies to party. Also hasn't he bought his barely legal model girlfriend lots and lots of expensive gifts? If this counts, that counts, Silvio.

Anyways! Here is the latest: Silvio says the lady who says Tarantini paid her to party with Silvio is actually getting paid to lie about him, and now the Catholics might not support Silvio so much, and the Pope delivered a veiled insult, and Silvio is now bitching about immigrants to prop up his fascist support.

It is still really unclear whether or not any of this will actually hurt him, though, because Italians basically expect their men to be lazy, layabout skirt-chasers without a shred of moral fiber, and also the opposition is, as always, in disarray.