We start working on Saturday's dick jokes at 9AM, while the mainstream media's still sleeping. Example: the Times - where people read about NYC bomb threats - was eight hours late to one that shut down LaGuardia Airport today.

Let's travel back in time to seven hours ago, around when the story started to break:

When Top Model Boy's been on the scene for seven hours longer than you, you might be in trouble. Reports a tipster:

There's been a bomb threat at LaGuardia airport - but what I found most interesting was that I searched all over the internet for any news on this item - none of the news sites had been updated (Except 1010wins), none of the broadcast networks, nothing was on television, and if you tried googling it at this time, no news. Enter TWITTER- which was going through a shitstorm. Amazing where the new media is headed, huh. Apparently, this has been going on since 4 am according to one of the tweets! Yet the first news article I found was at 730. These are reasons why, sadly, the media industry is dying. :(

Sadface, indeed, though we're not totally without culpability, as even we're not reporting it until now, instead opting to make bad jokes about bad jokes. That being said, our tipster then noted the 1010WINS report that was first filed at 7:30 (and has been updated several times since then).

Meanwhile, the New York Times just ran the story within the last hour.

Also sleeping in at the Times? Front-page copy-editors. Fun with contractions!

Again, we're casting the second stone, because I've been known to make the wayward copy-error or two, but I have awesome commenters to copy-edit for me on the fly! But you know what "major" news outlet was on the Bomb Scare Scoop immediately?

It's a Twitter account run by a 19 year-old Dutch kid named Michael Van Poppel that breaks news based on Twitter reports and smaller, non-MSM outlets before anyone else. And that's the future of news: while New Media makes Dick Jokes, and Old Media sleeps off their hangovers, some kid's crushing the scoop in a format perfected to a poetic science by Shaq. Awesome.

Oh, yeah, BTW: some drunkass shut down LaGuardia Airport with a fairly sufficient bomb threat:

Passengers pointed out an apparently drunk man to police officers. When officers approached him, according to the newspaper, the man said he had a bomb in his bag. The report continues to say there was a homemade device inside, rigged up to look like a bomb.