Dozens of schools in the United States and Britain were evacuated on Monday after receiving a wave of apparently coordinated threatening phone calls, USA Today reports. None of the threats were found to be legitimate.

A man in hedgehog pajamas and a bomb vest made of chocolate bars was shot by police on Thursday after threatening to “blow up” a Baltimore news station, WBFF-TV reports. Police say the suspect is in serious but stable condition and is expected to survive.

The public school systems in New York and Los Angeles both received bomb threats today, but only one city took it seriously. So why did 640,000 California kids get the day off while New York’s youths had to spend a lovely 60-degree day in class? Credulity.

Police have evacuated the Wisconsin State Capitol building in Madison because of a “credible bomb threat,” WITI reports.

On Saturday, CNN reported that two passenger planes had been escorted by fighter jet to Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to be searched, the result of an online bomb threat military officials "deemed credible." It soon became clear, however, the threat came from a source most of us would treat pretty skeptically: some dumb tweets from an obvious troll.

A Seattle man has been arrested for conducting a campaign of bomb threats against himself and the financial services company where he worked, in what appears to be an elaborate attempt to get extra days off.

Considering the hyped-up, half-assed shit the TSA forces you to go through before your typical flight, making a bomb-related joke at the airport probably isn't the best move. But, according to the AP, flier Peter Friesema didn't let a thing like common sense get in the way of potential comedy gold and apparently made a wisecrack about having a bomb in his bag. Things went about as well as you'd expect: authorities shutdown Anchorage's Ted Stevens International Airport for three hours hours early Sunday morning as police searched for the non-existent bomb.

Campuses at the University of Texas at Austin, North Dakota State in Fargo, and Hiram College were all evacuated today after separate bomb threats were issued at each school. The campuses of UT and NDS were cleared this afternoon, and students were allowed to return; police are still searching the campus at Hiram.

The staff of Americans For Tax Reform were briefly evacuated from their DC headquarters this morning as police responded to a bomb threat against the building. No explosives were found and the staff has returned to work.

We don't, as a rule, support terrorism, but sometimes we are sympathetic to its aims. As in the case of Freddy Caldwell, the Bronx man who threatened to blow up his local TV station if it kept airing Two and a Half Men reruns.

A Russian woman lied to police, claiming her daughter was a suicide bomber in order to prevent her from eloping to Morocco. After being questioned, the daughter was released and permitted to continue on her way. The mother was arrested.

At least one Madoff victim took a moment to let off some steam on this first anniversary of Bernie's arrest. Someone called in a bomb threat to the Lipstick building this afternoon, the office tower that once housed the offices of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities. [Dealbreaker]

We start working on Saturday's dick jokes at 9AM, while the mainstream media's still sleeping. Example: the Times - where people read about NYC bomb threats - was eight hours late to one that shut down LaGuardia Airport today.

A quick survey of informants drunkenly furloughed next door at the Pink Taco have confirmed that MGM Tower was not — we repeat, not — blown to bits after a reported bomb threat earlier this morning. In fact, we hear that work resumed on site within the last hour after a building search turned up nothing. One tipster sends word that "the receptionist who took the call couldn't tell whether it was a young boy or young girl," instantly suggesting a relatively tame prank that nevertheless shook the very souls (or whatever amounts to the ICM equivalent) of the tower's tenants. Follow the jump for the official all-clear, plus a brief anthology of survivor stories from the front.

And we don't mean Valkyrie: Word into Defamer HQ reveals that a bomb threat has been received by multiple tenants at MGM Tower, indicating that "the device would be activated at noon." The LAPD has been notified, evidently, but with the threat having yet to be verified, the building superintendents are reportedly evacuating the building from 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. We hear ICM is out already. Follow the jump for the full memo, and best wishes to those affected in Century City. Developing...

Reports are pouring in about a bomb scare stopping traffic over on Wilshire Blvd, close to the headquarters of SAG and across the street from Variety and E! [Ed.note—Has anyone checked to make sure that Seacrest is safe?] A sampling of our nearby operatives' descriptions of the situation apparently created off by a mysterious briefcase left in front of Organic to Go: